


Moose In Space

by Kaeos (Tennyo)



Category: SPN Fandom - Fandom, Supernatural Fandom, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Destiel kiss, Gen, International Space Station, Jared In Space, Jared gets drugged, Jared ships it, Return of the NHI, Season Finale, Unrepentant crack, prankster Jared, sort of, twitter pranks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tennyo/pseuds/Kaeos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What lengths will Jeremy go to prevent Jared's shenanigans from disrupting the pivotal last scene of the season - A Destiel Kiss?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moose In Space

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the Agincourt Agitators twitter 'Casually Watching' DM group. This is the collective brainchild of about half a dozen of us giggling over Jared shenanigans, and it resulted in... THIS.  
> [blue_morning](http://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_morning) is responsible for the shitty MSpaint art near the end of the story. We love her!
> 
> I didn't know I could add my stuff to the Coldest Hits collection if it wasn't part of the challenge. So here it is!

It's the script for the final season. They've been holding this one close to the chest. Jeremy has slaved over how to finish it all, and he thinks it's going to be the most explosive finale yet. But he has a problem.

They can't tell Jared Padalecki.

One of the reasons it's going to be so explosive: Dean and Cas are going to kiss. And if Jared finds out, they'll never get the scene shot. While he's known for disrupting the shoot schedule, Jared has a secret that isn't so secret.

He LOVES teasing Jensen and Misha about their relationship, and about Dean and Castiel's relationship.

If Jared sees the script, he's likely to blow the secret at a convention by teasing Jensen, or he could accidentally tweet something about it. And that can't happen.  

Not to mention how much trouble he'll cause on set trying to make the two men laugh while trying to do a romantic scene.

Jeremy's sure he's going to have to deal with Jensen's reaction to the scene as well. But he's been planning this for years, and now that Singer can't tell him no, he's going for it. Picking up his phone, he sends a group message to the Trash Squad:

- _It's time for a meeting_ -

 * * *

Jeremy arrives in a swanky little pub downtown wearing his purple squid hat. In a back corner around a table sit Robert Berens, Robbie Thompson, and Andrew Dabb. Jeremy brings up Jerry Wanek on Face Time, and props up his phone so he can see everyone else.

Everyone looks nervous. They haven't seen Jeremy wear the octopus hat for over a year. The fans caught on, and they had to retire the No Homo Intern.

As Jeremy sits down, he passes out copies of his script in folders stamped TOP SECRET.

Robbie's the first to snatch up a folder, and immediately starts scanning the pages. Andrew sits back and waves to a waitress, ordering some appetizers. Robert purses his lips and surveys Jeremy.

From the phone, Jerry says, "Are we finally doing this?"

Robbie looks up from where his nose is deep in the pages of his script, glasses slipping gown his nose. Jeremy looks at everyone around the table, drawing out his pause.

"It it time."

Over tapas and beer, they hash out the problems inherent with doing a Dean/Cas kiss. Already well versed in how the anti-Destiel crowd will react, and how the Destiel shippers pour praise over anything remotely related to that relationship, they're expecting #Supernatural to possibly be the most tweeted thing that Wednesday night. They're just going to have to warn the CW accounts ahead of time, and to brace for the influx of mixed messages they're sure to receive.

Now, on to the problem of Jared. Everyone agrees that Jared can't see that part of the script, he just can't. Andrew suggest only giving Jensen and Misha access to that part of the script until shooting day, and to make sure everyone else signs an extra gag order. Jeremy knows he's going to have to call Jensen and Misha into his office separately to discuss the matter.

Robert actually comes up with a great idea, writing a secondary scene similar to the kiss, that will be shot and lit exactly the same. That way, the crew and director can still prepare, even if what they'll be shooting is slightly different from their version of the script.

That still doesn't take into account what to do with Jared during the actual scene. It's possible he might just show up on set, even if he has no scenes blocked for the day. As they hash out their plan, they call it **Project Garbage Man**.

 * * *

It's April, and they've just finished the convention in DC. Jared is sitting in his seat on the plane, drink in hand. They have the finale of the season to film, and then they'll be on Summer break. Other than a couple of conventions, he can spend some quality time with Gen and the boys. They're getting so big, and he's missing so much.

With a sigh, he looks at the seat Jensen would normally occupy. Not today, he's flying to L.A. to go speak with Jeremy about something. It's all been very mysterious, and Jared hopes Jensen will tell him what's up afterwards.

 * * *

They start filming episode 23, and Jared still doesn't know what Jensen talked to Jeremy about. He's mentioned it to Misha, but that guy just gives him one of those goofy grins that say he knows something and isn't telling. No amount on headlocks, wet willies, or noogies will get the info out of him, either. He knows better than to pester Jensen.

There's a serious scene coming up so he puts on his concerned Sam face, and waits for Phil to signal that they're rolling.

 * * *

Alright, Jared definitely knows something's up. He's caught Wanek sighing over wallpaper, Jensen's been extra quiet, and Misha's been doing that thing where whenever he's on set he's periscoping, or taking pictures, or doing whatever he does when he's hyper. It's frustrating, because he feels like the butt of some big joke for a change.

The second to last day of filming, Jeremy arrives on set. It's a surprise. Next to him, a P.A. is holding a stack of green revision scripts. What? A revision for the last day of filming? Jeremy notices him, and waves, sending his P.A. on ahead of him.

"Jared, just the man I wanted to talk to!"

With a big grin, Jeremy asks if he wants to go get a drink, that he has some exciting news for Sam's storyline. It's almost lunch time, and Jared's scenes are finished, so he accepts readily. Especially if he's about to find out what everyone's been keeping from him, then he'll be more than happy to spend some time with Jeremy.

 * * *

Settled at a table just off set at a small restaurant some of the crew like to go to, Jeremy pours Jared a beer into a glass. It's a cheap brand, but it's all they've got, and Jared takes a polite sip.

"So what's everyone been keeping from me?"

"Well, it's almost the last day, so I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to tell you now..." Jeremy watches as Jared takes another sip of beer. He leans forward and whispers, "But Dean and Castiel are going to kiss."

" _What_?" Jared almost flings his beer. He's been waiting for this since forever! He never thought they'd actually go through with it!

"Dude, I gotta get back to set!"

Jeremy places a hand on his arm. "Don't worry, you're not going to miss it. We've scheduled it for the last shot tomorrow."

"Good, because you KNOW I want to be there!"

Jared is beyond excited.  He and Jensen have been like brothers for over a decade. Sure there was some tension at first, and Jared likes to joke around, but in all seriousness, he has seen the way Jensen looks at Misha, and the way Dean looks at Castiel.

Of course Jensen tried to deny it early on, but Jared has eyes. He's enjoyed teasing his own fans, but teasing Jensen about Misha or about Destiel is the best thing ever. It's going to be a long day when he gets back to set, and he plans on making the kiss scene the longest to shoot ever tomorrow.

With a grin, Jared takes another hefty swig of beer. "You're the best, Jeremy."

Suddenly his vision starts to go wavy. "Whoa, what's happening?" He tries to stand up, and has to lean on the table for support. Looking at Jeremy, he sees a walkie-talkie in his hand. Who still uses those anymore?

"What did you put in my--" Jared never finishes that sentence, and collapses to the floor.

Jeremy rushes to the door of the restaurant, saying into the walkie-talkie, "It's a go! Moose is down, I repeat, Moose is down!"

A van from NASA pulls up, and several men pour out of the back, scoop up all six foot five of Jared, and haul him into the van and drive away. Jeremy smiles smugly as he watched the van go around a corner. There's no way Jared is interfering with the last day of filming. Picking up his cellphone, he calls Jerry Wanek.

"Moose contained, roll at will."

 * * *

Jared awakens to a strange sense of weightlessness. Opening his eyes, he finds himself in a small, cylindrical room, strapped to a mattress. What the hell? After getting himself unstrapped, he orients himself for a moment. He's having some really strange, very lucid dream, isn't he?

Hair floating around his head in a silky, magnificent halo, Jared peeks out the door. There's a lovely woman with silky blonde hair in a ponytail, reading something on a tablet. She looks up at him and smiles.

"Oh, you're awake! Welcome to the International Space Station!" She has a strong Eastern European accent.

Wait, what? "You're kidding me."

"Not at all." She leads him over to a porthole window, and Jared deals with vertigo for a moment as he stares down at Earth. He can't believe that the CW or Supernatural had enough money or time to pull this off. Staring pensively out the window, he asks himself, who does he know who has connections with NASA?

Misha.

"Hey, you guys have access to Twitter, right?"

 * * *

It's the last scene of the day, and Jeremy is still on set, ready to see the fruits of his labor take place before the camera. Jensen had been surprisingly okay with it happening, and he only wanted to know how it would affect next season. Honestly, he'd expected more of a fight. After all, Jensen's usually more reserved and protective of Dean's character.

The lights are in place, a soft glow backlighting the bunker library. Misha's in his Castiel trenchcoat and tie, Jensen wearing Dean's favorite Dead Guy Robe. They're conversing quietly, heads together, possibly discussing how they want this to play out. Phil calls for places, and-- Misha's phone rings.

"I'm so sorry guys, I thought I turned it off."

While Misha's reaching for his phone, Jensen's goes off next. And then Serge's. Jerry's starts buzzing, and the prop phone that Dean uses starts jamming out its characteristic tune. Nobody recognizes the numbers of the incoming calls, and so they avoid answering, silencing their phones. But they keep vibrating, texts and calls keep coming in. What the heck is going on?

Just then, Misha bursts into laughter. "Guys, Jared got us. Look at Twitter."

The fans are absolutely losing their minds, and clicking on Jared's feed gives a clue. He's posted a picture from the space station, a paper with over half a dozen phone numbers written on it between his hands.

"They sent me into space to keep me out of trouble! Tell them what you think! #AKF" he tweeted above the photo.

Even in space, Jared still manages to disrupt filming.


End file.
